Do you know what Santa and Mark Zuckerberg have in common?
They both inspire us to put on our best face — to be “nice”, “like” life… where everything is joy, joy, joy! We are all smiles and everything seems perfect. (See below for what happened a few minutes later…)
Don’t get me wrong… there are certainly moments when that is exactly the case, but not every minute is like that.
That is what everyone sees on the outside. But what is just under the surface?
That feeling of comparison?
Of not meeting expectations?
Or sadness and guilt because of what you don’t have figured out yet or your inability to do everything you wanted to do this holiday season (like travel to family, buy expensive gifts, or take time off)?
Well I am here to let you off the hook!
All of those feelings are totally normal AND you don’t have to suffer under what may feel like the 20 questions or harsh contrast between where you are and where you want to be (or worse, where others want you to be). Maybe you can relate to Kim’s story from last night’s Money Makers Academy live session…
Kim could tell me that she felt stuck and guilty for spending any money at all right now. But I could also tell how much she was judging herself and being really hard on herself about her current situation. She didn’t feel like she was measuring up to her own hopes for 2016, and her family and boyfriend’s family have been giving her hints of the same.
Through the tears, I helped her to see the courage she has by even participating to get support to make more money, pay off her debt, and live in a positive mindset most of the time (or have quick reframes to get back to it — none of us are perfect!). And what a huge win for her that she is taking action to improve her situation!
MONEY TIP: If you ever find yourself feeling bad or judging yourself for your feelings, instead do what I went on to suggest for Kim:
1 – Be gentle on yourself. Just as you get more bees with honey, you are able to much more quickly get through the tough feelings to experience the joyful ones when you bring acceptance not resistance. (If you have my book, this is literally Chapter 1.)
2 – Create a daily practice that grounds you in all the goodness within and around you. It is SO easy to focus on the 5-10% that isn’t going right and on what you don’t have in your life. (Literally we are pre-programmed as humans to have a disposition towards seeing the negative.) But you can choose to focus on the 90-95% that IS going well. This only has to take a few minutes each day, and can include meditating, reading, listening to happy music, or affirmations to name a few. You can even do them in conjunction with other activities, like I play “Happy Radio” on Pandora while I get ready in the morning.
3 – Take one action that is aligned with the life that YOU are creating for yourself. Read an article about a topic that interests you. Listen to a podcast you enjoy. Get clarity on your numbers (for instance, what debt you owe, how much money comes in and out, or your current bank balance). Money loves clarity — and confidence comes from clarity too.
That’s it! Think of this like the pep talk from your coach during a time out before you head into the game. (OK yes I’m gearing up for some football watching over this next few weeks! lol)
Remember that there is always more under the surface. You don’t really know what is going on for people, so don’t judge. There is certainly more going on than the constant smiles on Facebook — I can tell you my daughter Becca isn’t always smiling — but we can focus on the smiles and accept it all.
Let me know below in the comments what you can do to take care of yourself and even start a short new daily practice to ground yourself in how amazing you are. I wish you could see you through my eyes.
Happy holidays from our family to yours.
Talk with you next year!
P.S. Here are a few timely articles from my friends and colleagues that I thought you’d like too:
* 12 financial tips to help you survive the holidays
* 45 Christmas Gift Ideas Under $25 (They’ll Absolutely Love)
* How To Make a Money Note Pad (looks fun especially for kids + teenagers instead of cash)
* 12 Year End Money Moves
P.P.S. Enjoy some good ol’ fashioned self-care over this next few weeks. We’ll be practicing what I’m preaching and our office will be closed next week for some R&R for our whole team. (And don’t worry… come January, I’ll absolutely help you find the cash to pay for all of the credit card bills that may soon be on their way.)